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That Anxiety Business. Again.

For a long time I adopted the ‘fake it till you make it’ approach to aspects of my mental health. It’s by no means a foolproof solution but it has got me through some difficult moments. It has allowed me to seem more confident than I often am and that in itself can make it easier to succeed. It definitely helps that I believe in Cards or Die passionately. I can look at any event and genuinely think ‘You know what would make this better? Board games. Lots of them.’
 
My most recent anxiety has centred around striking a balance between following up leads and pestering people. I look back on my first round of making contact with potential customers and feel that it was easy, nothing to worry about. Yet, when I give it proper consideration, I know that before I made those contacts I was just as anxious.
 
I find I am locked in a battle with myself. Again. I ought to know from my previous experience that people aren’t that scary. But it’s easy to forget that when you’re about to start pestering them to pay you to do a thing that they may never have realised they needed! And even easier when the anxiety in your brain is greedily licking its tentacles and waiting to ensnare you.
For some these sorts of worries can be countered by a simple internal dialogue:
You: What’s the worst that could happen?
Also you: They say no.
You: There, that’s no big deal is it?
 
But with my anxiety these internal dialogues often play out very differently.
Me: What’s the worst that could happen?
Me: They say no.
Me: There, that’s…
Me: (interrupting) and then they get angry and yell at me about wasting their time and how it’s a ridiculous idea that will never work
Me: But…
Me: And then they pick up the nearest blunt object and I try to run but the door’s locked…
 
And so it goes on. You get the picture. I’m mental. And not always in a fun way.
In the end I have risked the wrath of potential customers. Some people said yes, some said no, no-one attacked me with a blunt object for daring to ask them if they’d like to book me to run board games at their event. Even the ‘no’s have been pleasant encounters – some of them thank me for approaching them, lots of people have wished me luck and said what a great idea it is.
 
So, having fought and maimed this air drawn demon, I then had to face the horror that is follow up contact. As I’ve said past experience alone isn’t enough to placate this creature. It is concerned only with reinforcing negatives and doesn’t allow me to celebrate success for long. But, I drew myself up to my full height and readied myself for battle once more. And, guess what? It turns out that if people have already expressed an interest in booking you they don’t mind you getting in touch. Some of them even thank you- because people are busy and they sometimes just genuinely forget. Hopefully by recording this, in some way I can encourage my brain to remember this for the next phase.
 
I am adept at finding things to worry about and embarking on a new business has given ‘it’ plenty of opportunities to surface. It can be exhausting. But, at the moment I am at a really good positive point. I have contacted strangers, chased them up and they’ve booked me!
 
Why am I sharing this with you? Because if, like me, you’re a bit loopy then next time your brain helpfully kick starts a plethora of worst case scenarios which usually end in a world where cockroaches are the master race, you’ve just got a bit more ammo. You can tell it ‘Hang on- that crazy board games nerd managed it. So can I.’
And if this struggle is not something you regularly endure, then I’m glad. Hopefully you’ve enjoyed reading a little tale of moderate success in a big, scary world.
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Retro Games – and what they reveal about you.

Having scored woefully on a board games quiz: ‘How many 2016 games have you played?’ (about 3 if you’re wondering), I thought I would make my own list. I scored 100%. 50 out of 50. Some people might call it cheating; I like to call it alternative competing.
So… how many of these retro faves have you played? And, more importantly what does this say about you and your future? Complete the quiz to find out.
Click the image for the link:
Score 1-18 Woeful.
You have beautiful skin, an enviable stamp collection and are a long way from experiencing the tropical moments of menopause. Unfortunately you are also unhealthily attached to a squirrel who lives in next door’s garden. Your love is unrequited. This can only end badly. Wear red and attend a Cards or Die event (maybe first Wednesday at The Abbey Inn) to escape your impending doom.
Score 19-35 Average
You are of medium height and can not get heels which fit comfortably. Your stationery drawer is a disgrace – there are pens and paperclips in all of the sections. Last time you packed Monopoly away you did not check carefully enough and have now lost the top hat. That won’t matter until next Thursday when 5 suited strangers arrive at your door and demand to play. Don’t worry, the piece is under the sofa. All will be well.
Score 36- 49 Irritatingly Impressive
Other people aspire to be you: your board games are alphabetical, you are tall and your hair is impervious to rain. But beware – you are one triumphant victory at Operation away from enraging your best friend. Win again and they will beat you to death with the Charlie Horse. Play Pit instead, the cards are not lethal. Also, you are very old.
Score 50 Awesome
Congratulations! You’re me! You are the ultimate winner at life. Your key skills are time optimism, fanatical devotion to stationary and being gracious in defeat. You regularly let people win at games due to your inner beauty and generous spirit. You will win the lottery three months on Wednesday. Do not blow it all on games.

Come along to a Cards or Die event and play some of these classics.
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Dixit. A game of beauty, voting and darkness.

Words can not adequately express my love for this game. But as it is a game all about communication, I’ll give it my best shot.
 
Dixit is a board game based on voting, communication and gorgeous art. How perfectly appropriate for this week. The cards are beautiful and sometimes dark. Handbag vomit card is one of my favourites (I don’t think this is it’s official name). Mainly because it resonates with my own personal handbag issues:
One of the lovely things about Dixit is the odd nature of it: many of the illustrations are very strange; you keep score by moving wooden rabbits (rabbeeples if you will) round the board. Why? Why not. Dixit has a fantasy ‘once upon a time’ feel that encourages players to unleash their imagination.
 
How do you play?
 
Dixit is a simple game to learn.
  • Each player has a hand of 6 cards.
  • Player 1 chooses one card from their hand. They describe the card using a word, a phrase, a line from a song, a sound: anything which for them encapsulates the image. The put the card to one side, face down.
  • The other players now choose a card from their hand which best matches the phrase Player 1 has said. They hand their chosen card to Player 1.
  • Player 1 shuffles all the chosen cards, along with their own choice and then lays the cards out face down. As they lay them out they number them.
  • The other players must then vote on which card they believe Player 1 chose. They place their numbered voting chips face down and reveal their choices simultaneously.
  • If no-one or everyone correctly identifies Player 1’s card then Player 1 score nothing. Nothing at all. Not a sausage. (Other players score points for correct identification and for having people vote for their chosen card.)
And this, this is the nub of the game. You must be specific enough to enable people to identify your image but vague enough that not everyone gets it. This is a skill which requires adept communication and throws up interesting and diverse challenges whether playing with friends or strangers. For me, this is the beauty of the game.
 
Not only is Dixit a fun, entertaining game but it also has serious social skills benefits. It encourages empathy and imagination. A perfect game for those who may find those skills challenging.
It also makes it an ideal game for team building exercises. Playing with people you ‘sort-of know’ is at times funny and always enlightening.
Plus it gives you the opportunity to say Rabbeeples. I mean, really, what more could you ask for from a game?
Share your handbag vomit pictures with me on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook @cardsordie
Now with added expansion pack. Join us at one of Cards or Die’s events to play:
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Summertime Rolls

It’s Summer. I know it must be because lots of Morris Dancers got up at ridiculous o’clock this morning to dance the sun up for us. And that’s got me thinking about Summertime games for those lazy summer evenings. While you read on, why not have a background track to get you in the Summer mood…
Neighbours the Board Game
What evokes summer more than throwing a shrimp on the barbie, watching Bouncer splash about in the pool with Scott and Charlene, and cracking out a classic retro game?
Everybody needs good neighbours and you can join forces with yours in The Neighbours board game to create the best plotline ever. I have thoroughly enjoyed playing this game and it’s had good reviews from events too. Now – whenever I read the word “hilarious” in a review part of my soul dies, but honestly Neighbours is hilarious to play (admittedly we consumed wine while we played), but it is a fun game – and the plot lines you create have to be grammatically accurate, which pleases me more than I can tell you. Pretend it’s the 80s, pretend it’s sunny, and dive right in!
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Carcassonne
If for you, Summer is a time of fine wines, medieval castles and drinking dodgy homebrew (that’s basically what Monks did, isn’t it?) then Carcassonne is the game for you. Create your own beautiful settlement with luscious farm lands and well tended gardens. Watch out for robbers and farm boundary confusion (it’s just like The Archers) and ask yourself the perennial Carcassonne question: why do farmers lie down?
Or if you’re feeling really decadent, why not check out the real Carcassonne:
http://fiveminutehistory.com/10-amazing-facts-french-medieval-city-carcassonne/
 
 
 
 
The Morris
And finally, as I eluded to earlier, nothing makes summer for me more than the Morris. Here’s my boy dancing the sun up last year (photo courtesy of Karen Fretwell). My summer is always full of dancing and colour.
On May 19th -21st, I’m excited to be celebrating all things folk at Shepley Spring Festival, bringing with me 150 games. Amongst them is Nine Men’s Morris, which dates back to the Roman Empire, and is referred to by Shakespeare as an outdoor game in A Midsummer Night’s Dream (‘The nine men’s morris is filled up with mud’- Summer and rain how very English; how very festival). Not only does it epitomise Summer but it is the ultimate retro game!
Pit your wits in this traditional strategy game – place and move your pawns carefully, creating ‘mills’ (lines of three), allowing you to remove one of your opponent’s pieces from the game. The game ends when there are no more legal moves left or one player is reduced to two pieces in play. It’s a relatively straightforward strategy game. For me, that makes the perfect strategy game , a few simple rules but lots of potential depth – good for quick play and not too difficult to concentrate on with your pimms or prosecco – another Summer requirement.
But if you can’t wait for Shepley, come and see us at The Abbey Inn, Horsforth on Wednesday night. There won’t be Morris dancing but there will be many, many good games…
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MollyFest

Just got back from enjoying a fantastic festival atmosphere at Mollyfest. Brilliant bands, mud, flowery headbands and a fabulous atmosphere: everything you need. Molly created a very memorable experience for everyone. And as with any festival I’m wiped out today. So, having stared at the computer screen blankly for an hour last night and to save myself from doing that just now, I am just going to share a couple of videos from the event. Enjoy!
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Top 5 Pub Games and A Comparison Graph.

When I read lists on the internet (an activity I spend more time doing than I care to admit) I often wonder what the criteria was. Maybe it’s the teacher in me. (The eagle eyed among you have already spotted the ‘what went well/ even better if’ feedback model that I used on my feedback forms!). You can’t reward anything without having a clear criteria that you have shared. If there’s a top spot to be awarded, we all want to know how the winner got there.
Which brings me to my criteria for the top 5 pub games. And as with all good success criteria, I may have made some of the words up.

1. Portability
2. Low threshold high ceiling (easy to learn but endless levels of possible challenge)
3. Sociability
4. Quality of components
5. Fun

The upshot of this, of course is (aside from the portability measure) you can apply this to any games, for any event and rate them accordingly. If you wanted you could also give numerical scores and make graphs….

1. Mancala

Mancala is a game I stumbled on by accident. I bought a copy of it solely because I liked the box – I took it to the counter, said ‘Is this a game?’ She said ‘Yes, I think so’ and that was it. Sold. A few weeks of showing it to people and asking ‘What’s this?’ and I had discovered Mancala. (Think Fran in Episode 1 of Black Books.

Mancala is so simple; very easy to learn. And packed into it’s own case it is super portable. For the stores at the ends you can use two glasses or you can buy a version with built in stores. (Just make sure the components are still big enough to use.)
As a game for two it is less sociable than some of the others but it is definitely a fun and addictive game. And the fact only two people are playing doesn’t stop people having an opinion on what you’re doing wrong! I left my copy in the pub at past midnight last games night because people couldn’t tear themselves away from it. It’s a permanent fixture for our Abbey games nights.

The components are satisfyingly tactile. In fact they are so appealing that at a recent wedding fayre, despite the fact they look and feel like antique olives, someone tried to eat one which was an awkward moment, as he dried and replaced it!

2. Skull

Skull is a straightforward game of Bluff. It is easy to play but because if relies on bluff and trying to second guess opponents actions, it feels as though it has endless possibilities. It is fun to play with people you know well, or complete strangers so scores high on sociability.
The cards in the game are well made and beautifully illustrated.

Fun levels can be accurately measured by the spontaneous noise all players make when a Skull is revealed. You can of course win by not bidding, but as a fellow player said on Wednesday – ‘That’s the coward’s way out. The worst sort of winning!’
 
That depends really – winning is, after all, winning!
 

3. Exploding Kittens

Exploding Kittens is a very entertaining card game in which you try to avoid being exploded whilst trying to get someone else blown up in your place.

The cards are entertainingly illustrated by the oatmeal and of course – as it’s a card game it is designed to be portable.

It can be learnt in about 15 minutes and while it isn’t the most challenging game in the world, there is enough variation to keep you entertained for many happy hours. It is probably my most played game as it appeals to people of all ages, all gaming aptitudes and preferences. I have endlessly bought it as a gift for others and it is probably the game I have taught most so far.

http://theoatmeal.com

And, you can always add the Imploding Kittens for more challenge and confusion. Just don’t end up wearing the cone of shame!


4. Obama Llama

Last time I got this out at games night, we had a spontaneous moment while we missed Obama. That in itself was a sociable activity, if somewhat tinged with sadness. Then we got on with the ridiculous task of working out what celebrities rhyme with. You roll the dice to determine whether you have to act out your rhyme, give clues or simply describe your allocated celebrity and their rhyme.

It is very entertaining and certainly easy to learn. It doesn’t score highly on having many possible levels to it: there really isn’t any difficulty at all. But, the components are of a decent quality and it is extremely sociable.

5. Travel Downfall or just Downfall

An MB classic. Both sizes of Downfall are a popular choice. It is easy to learn: simply get your counters through in numerical order. If you want to add challenge you can specify that all of one colour must be first or put your counters in, in a random order but still have them come through in numerical order. There is plenty of challenge available. As for quality of components? Considering the game is about 35 years old I’d say we can confidently score that highly. Fun and socialising is often about banter and lively interactions with friends. Downfall is perfect for this.

We spent many happy minutes shouting at each other and reading the same paragraph of the rules to each other whilst emphasising different words. It all ended happily. Well, I went home so I’m assuming it did. Yet another game I had to abandon at the pub.

On reflection, I should add that to my criteria: leavability?
 
Anyway – just for you. I done a graph.