Things board gamers need to stop posting on social media.
In real life I enjoy a good rant but I rarely complain on here. I prefer to remain positive and upbeat – there’s enough negativity around. Having said that, I am so fed up of some of these lazy memes and inconsiderate content that I am uncharacteristically going to tell you about my pet peeves. Feel free to share yours with me!
- My least favourite games…
It is not without a sense of irony that my first pet peeve is those clickbaity negative posts. I really don’t get why in a hobby where there are small independent companies creating wonderful games we feel the need to focus on games we dislike. I am not referring to negative reviews, comments or posting about negative experiences with a particular game. We’ve all played games that other people rave about and been chronically underwhelmed. But there seems to be some kudos in announcing games we dislike; in encouraging others to list games they’ve hated. Instead, we should be celebrating our hobby – using social media to shine a light on independent creators that we love. Unfortunately, I fear that this trend goes deeper: in fact it is about gatekeeping. ‘If I dislike this game that you like, it shows I understand more about games than you do – ultimately I’m just better.’ It goes hand in hand with the dismissive attitude towards ‘light’ games, ‘filler’ games ‘abstract’ games. If you want people to join in and be part of this wonderful hobby then you need to avoid these hate bait posts.
2. Monopoly is rubbish…
I explored this in a previous blog post that you can read here. Many of us have fond memories of playing Monopoly as kids and it still sells millions of copies. I do get asked for it occasionally at events and I understand the draw of it; it’s nostalgic, it’s very competitive and there is something satisfying about collecting sets of properties. It certainly doesn’t deserve the amount of bashing it receives in the hobby community. For me boardgames are a chance to connect with others and it doesn’t really matter what we are playing, it matters that we are playing. And, if you don’t want to play a certain game that’s fine too but it doesn’t mean that others can’t enjoy it. You have to consider that when you repeatedly attack a game that might be someone’s only experience of playing games you are making the hobby less accessible and that’s not ok.
3. Take my wife…
Please. The 1970s called and they want their jokes back. I can not believe that I am still encountering this nonsense. The worst offender is the ‘I lie to my wife about what I spend on boardgames’ made into various memes. It seems harmless enough on the surface but there is so much there. Your wife has no access to the joint account? You don’t both share your money? You lie? You think your wife is stupid? It paints women as stupid, easy to trick and as having no right to know what is going on with your shared finances. It is the laziest of tropes. Historically women haven’t been treated all that well so maybe give us a bit of a break or at least try to come up with something original.
The other one I still often see is ‘my wife hates boardgames how can I make her play *insert specific boardgame here*? There are two super obvious answers to this – she doesn’t like games, leave her to it. You don’t have to share every hobby that you have. Secondly, maybe (and I personally think this is the actual barrier to her playing) – let her choose a game she likes the look of. Don’t try and make someone who says they don’t like games play something super complex that takes hours of their life! If you genuinely want to introduce anyone to gaming as a hobby you need to be led by them, by their interests. Hopefully, you can then find something you both enjoy. When I read this question I despair – what it actually says is ‘how can I make my wife do what I want her to do?’ And, in the responses, far from calling it out, men* are enthusiastically recommending games that their wife likes. Because if you’ve met one woman, you’ve met them all.
Women are still underrepresented in the hobby and it’s easy to see why. Let’s do better.
* and I do mean men. All the people who make recommendations based on what their wife likes are men. Not all the men make unhelpful comments. But if there is an unhelpful comment it’s usually a man.
4. Hauls
The next two are all to do with wealth. We’ve all seen people’s birthday or convention ‘hauls’; huge piles of games and game adjacent purchases. Boardgaming is an expensive hobby – it’s one of the reasons that I keep the vast majority of my events free. There is a relentless focus on the next new, shiny game that you ‘need’ and I know that I am guilty of contributing to that. I share new games when I get them and recommend games that I think are good for different audiences – part of the reason I’m able to get free games. I have a massive collection of games and I know how lucky I am to get so many preview and sample copies from companies. I try to keep ‘haul’ style posts to a real minimum – there is something so distasteful about bragging about massive spending on luxuries when so many people have so little. Which brings me neatly on to…
5. The Shelf of Shame
Showing off a massive shelf of unplayed games is so decadent. Imagine the luxury of buying things we have no intention of using or looking at. I think most people who play games have unplayed games – no matter how big or small their collection. However, having them is one thing – showing them off on social media can just serve to reinforce the message that to take part in this hobby you have to spend a lot of money.
I don’t even like the name of this! It’s a phrase that I used to use, but made a decision to stop using because I have enough opportunities to berate myself without labelling things I haven’t got round to doing as ‘shameful’. There is no shame in it; life gets in the way. Board games are fun and I love playing them but it shouldn’t become an additional pressure in our already busy lives.
I am passionate about bringing people together with boardgames. I try to make my events as accessible as possible. You can find out more about my events here.