Posts tagged: Cards or Die

I’ve come across the advice to write my own job description a few times now. As a sole trader my role includes everything! – marketing, accounting, bookings, stock management, and everything else. I assume it’s a way of encouraging people to identify areas of weakness and celebrate areas of strength. I could use this as an opportunity to be reflective and identify on all the things I’d dearly love to delegate (mainly the accounts) but instead I thought I would entertain myself by imagining recruiting my replacement.

Nothing could have prepared me for this exhibition. Hetain Patel said that he wanted to put things together in a way that was ‘overwhelming, not in a negative way’ but in a celebratory, joyful way and he and Barnsley Civic have succeeded. Tiny, tiny things are nestled amongst huge imposing things, or there is a breathtaking abundance – like the sea of pom poms. He explained that there is no hierarchy in the exhibition – no this is ‘proper art’; no division between ‘this took a hundred hours to make while this took 10 minutes’ and no ‘this item is intrinsically more valuable’. All of it is equally impressive in different ways. In this way the emphasis falls on celebrating difference in all its glorious abundance.

As I rounded the corner and came face to face with my own board games. 155 of them. It took my breath away. To see these games that I love displayed instead of bursting from shelves in the study; to stay there and listen to people’s recollections, to watch their reactions and to chat to some of them about the games was joyful. I felt really connected to others. I didn’t feel the usual worry that I was ‘going on’ or not observing conversational cues or turn taking properly. I could breathe.

Patel also talked of ‘guilty pleasures’, things we might feel awkward about sharing about ourselves and he robustly challenged the very notion. We should be free to come as we really are. Our true, glorious selves.

The title suddenly resonated with me. I felt seen and in a positive way too. I have masked my Autism all my life. I have masked it from others and from myself. When people talk about unmasking, I don’t know how to. And underlying that is a pervasive fear that I don’t know who I am.

But at the launch evening – listening to Patel talk, all of that was washed away for 2 glorious days. It was such a privilege to be given that space and safety to unmask without even consciously doing so. I have pocketed some of that feeling and will try to keep it somewhere safe and close forever.

It is not without a sense of irony that my first pet peeve is those clickbaity negative posts. I really don’t get why in a hobby where there are small independent companies creating wonderful games…

I know the rules to over 500 different boardgames.

After leaving teaching 7 years ago, I started my boardgames business – I take a selection of boardgames along to weddings, parties, pubs, team building, festivals and corporate socials and then I teach and recommend games to people. The initial aim was to get more people playing boardgames together. It soon became apparent that boardgames are a great tool for tackling social isolation.

Reading the rules is the most boring bit of playing games so I decided that I should learn all the rules, that way people can play straightaway. It also means no time is wasted arguing over how games are played or what the rules mean. I’ve described my brain as a dilapidated mind-palace. Only the boardgames room is still intact!

I grew up playing boardgames with my much older siblings (there’s a twelve year gap between me and my nearest sister). It was a way to spend time with them despite the age gap: a fun activity we could share. In the 80s we had about 5 games in the cupboard Connect 4, Guess Who, Kan-U-Go, Boggle and Escape from Atlantis. It was enough. Whereas now there are so many more titles available – I like to collect unusual ones that I think people might not know.

When we went on holiday we always took a pack of cards. We used to play card games in the caravan – gambling for pennies. If we played outside the caravan Mum made us take a box of counters she’d bought so that people wouldn’t think we were gambling. I still have that box of shiny red counters.

I did an event at an old people’s home and one of the staff pointed out two women who ‘never join in. They’ve got dementia. They just sit – they’re fine.’ I took them Connect 4 and set it up in front of them, they picked up the counters and took turns slotting them in. When it was full, they emptied it and took turns again. Neither of them spoke, they just played. It’s moments like that which convince me of the power of boardgames.

I realised that it wasn’t just me who had fond childhood memories of playing boardgames together. Part of my collection is retro and vintage games and people love reminiscing – they had the exact same copy or they always played it at their grandma’s.

Far from being a dying hobby, the boardgames industry is growing year on year. The global boardgames market estimated to be worth between $12 and $13 billion. The pandemic played its part in encouraging us to put down our phones and reconnect and that’s what boardgames enable us to do. 

I get a lot of people coming on their own to my events. The prospect of going to an event on your own can be daunting. Because you are sharing an activity you have a ready-made topic of conversation, the requirement for eye contact is significantly reduced because it’s fine to listen and play while looking down at your hand of cards or the board. I’m always delighted when people come on their own to my events because I know how much it takes.

I absolutely love teaching people boardgames and listening to the laughter, the heated discussions, and seeing people connecting over a game. I’m so lucky to have been able to turn my hobby and my geeky ability to learn lots of rules into my job!

What is Mindfulness? Mind defines ‘Mindfulness’ as: ‘a technique you can learn which involves noticing what’s happening in the present moment, without judgement. You might take notice and be aware of your mind, body or surroundings.’ That’s it. There is no specific activity you have to do – I love yoga, I use guided meditation from time to time, I dance and I try to sit in the garden and drink a cup of tea most days. And, of course I play boardgames. It doesn’t have to cost the earth and mindfulness looks different for everyone. I thought I’d tell you a bit about what it looks like for me in terms of boardgames. I’d love to hear what it looks like for you.